My injured cousin is still persistent, gathering many people, preparing to kidnap that secretary's son. It's no longer for money, he said. I'm already feeling scared, thinking things are heading in an uncontrollable direction, after all, we are related by blood; he is my family.

I also feel that I'm not suited for the local thugs; bullying people is one thing, but if it really comes to it, I don't have his ruthlessness. I told Zhou Dan about the situation, detailing it far and wide, the cause and effect, even though I know she may not be smart, nor may she have any ideas. Her expression was quite complicated, as if she had been thinking for a long time, and she handed me two hundred yuan, asking me to persuade my cousin. I said I couldn't persuade him, and she asked me to repeat what I had said to her, leaving the rest to fate. It was quite literary, like a movie line. I was quite surprised and asked her whose fate she was talking about; she said ours. At that moment, I didn’t understand who “we” referred to.

I ordered a few dishes, and when I brought a green bottle, he drank almost all of it; I couldn't get enough and ordered another. I had only said half of what I wanted when I was interrupted; he seemed to understand my meaning, but I wasn’t sure. Finally, he asked me if I had considered going back to school; he thought I was cut out for it. I didn’t answer. The chandelier in the restaurant flickered and danced, like a candle disturbed by the wind; the light was dim and swaying, and I felt his face start to blur, like a shadow gradually fading.

We walked out of the restaurant, and as usual, he put his arm around my shoulder, asking me if I was still a virgin. I felt a bit embarrassed, stammered for a long time, and finally said yes. Let’s go, I’ll help you lose it, and I can even give you a big red envelope, he said. I was looking forward to it; after two years on this street, I also had someone I liked. Saying I liked her isn’t entirely accurate; it was more about sexual impulses; deep down, I still thought they were dirty, and so did Zhou Dan. We stumbled into the store, and the neon lights of Xibingying Street were still bright at midnight. That night, I vented freely, from feeling at a loss to becoming quite skilled; I poured all my passion into it and understood the true meaning of life.

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